Wednesday, September 30, 2020 – Kindness
- Mary Reed
- Oct 1, 2020
- 8 min read
I walk by a yard with this sign “Kind People Are Our Kind of People.” What a lovely sentiment — and one we don’t see or hear often enough these days. An act of kindness can make such a huge difference in people’s lives. It doesn’t cost any money or require long hours of work; it is simply an honest, heartfelt expression of love. Whether it’s thanking a frontline worker, complimenting a co-worker over Zoom or in person or telling family members how much they mean to you, kindness is the salve to soothe our current chaos.
According to Wikipedia, kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration or concern for others— without having an expectation of praise or reward. It is considered a virtue and is recognized as a value in many cultures and. In Book II of "Rhetoric,” Aristotle defines kindness as "helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped." Friedrich Nietzsche considered kindness and love to be the "most curative herbs and agents in human intercourse." Kindness is considered to be one of the knightly virtues; it is one of the 10 Commandments of Chivalry: “Thou shall be generous, and give largesse to everyone.” In Meher Baba's teachings, God is synonymous with kindness: "God is so kind that it is impossible to imagine His unbounded kindness!”
According to the kindness.org website, there are several types of kindness.
Civic Acts of Kindness
With the reality of police brutality and racial discrimination being commonplace, what can you do to choose kindness? Try one of these recommended acts that emerged from our research as some of the most effective and impactful “civic acts of kindness.”
Register to vote
Registering to vote — and helping others register — is one of the simplest and most effective civic acts of kindness you can do right now. Register here: https://vote.gov/
Talk about policing and racism with those around you
What are the problems that we face? How might they be solved? Kind conversations with family, friends and neighbors about the issues of the day can kickstart real change.
Write to your elected representatives
They work for you. Tell them what to do. Encourage local, state and federal officials to choose kindness in 2020. Contact details here: https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials/
Watch films and TV shows about racism and police brutality
There are many ways to educate ourselves. Take advantage of being home more often than normal to watch one of the many films or series that highlights racism or police brutality. Here's a list to get you started: https://time.com/5847912/movies-to-watch-about-racism-protests/
Be Kind to Your Community
Although we may be apart, it doesn't mean we can't connect with our communities. Whether it's making masks or making extra food, there are plenty of ways to spread kindness in these times.
Create a feel-good sign
Delight those walking by placing a positive note, drawing or message in your window or yard.
Make a mask for yourself and others
Make masks for your family, friends, neighbors – and yourself. Sew or no-sew, the choice is yours: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/downloads/DIY-cloth-face-covering-instructions.pdf
Make a donation
Make a donation to people hit especially hard by the economic shutdown. Every little bit helps. If you're able to make a gift, we're a fan of this fund: https://www.givedirectly.org/covid-19/
Give blood
Want to save a life? Hospitals need blood now more than ever. https://www.redcross.org/give-blood.html
Be Kind to Yourself
Right now, you're probably so busy juggling everything that you can forget about your own needs. Take a moment to check-in with yourself. How are you doing?
Relax with a bath
Candles, bubbles, bath salts, your favorite podcast, a book, a glass of wine — make bath time your new prime time.
Write a gratitude list
Research has shown that practicing gratitude helps us feel happier. Write down three things you're grateful for today.
Take a nap
A 20-30 minute nap can do wonders. Give yourself some well-deserved shut-eye.
Take a break from tech
You need a break. Put down your phone for a day. Use the time to garden, read a real book, try a new recipe or connect with the people around you.
Be Kind, Online
The pandemic has got us all online all the time. If we're going to spend so much time there, it's a great opportunity to spread kindness to our friends, families and strangers.
Share a positive news story
Good news can go viral too! Share an inspirational story with your social network and watch your feed become more uplifting.
Donate your time & expertise to nonprofits
Strong on finances? Understand the law? Communications? Do a live Q&A, offer some free training or get stuck into a project. There are lots of options to choose from here: https://www.catchafire.org
Respond kindly to a negative comment online
It may feel like planting a dandelion on a garbage heap, but sometimes a gentle or agreeable word can be so unexpected — especially online — that you just might get a response in kind.
Arrange an online “date” with a friend
Grab a tea, a coffee, a drink or a sandwich — and catch up online.
Take the Extra Time to be Extra Kind
Some may argue that the pandemic is a blessing in disguise. We have the time to reflect and reconnect. Let's make the most of it.
Share a good book
Finished a great read? Next time you're out, leave it for a neighbor or on a park bench. It's not littering; it's "literaturing." Nervous to share a physical copy? Send a digital version instead.
Write a letter to someone who made a difference in your life
No one gets anywhere without help. There are probably several people in your past who helped you — teachers and bosses, sure, but also casual acquaintances you may not have kept in touch with who never realized just how much of an impact they had on you. Look them up, and drop them a note to let them know they mattered, and exactly how.
Answer that email you’ve been
putting off
Think of that person who has been patiently waiting to hear from you and make the time to reply to them. It could make their day.
Kindness in Religion
According to Kori D. Miller’s Sept. 14, 2020 article “What is Kindness in Psychology? (Incl. Activities + Quotes)” in Positive Psychology, the topic of kindness is in the Bible, Quran and Torah. The Bible includes many references to kindness. Among them are:
A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. (Proverbs 11:17)
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (1 John 3:18)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, [and] faithfulness. (Galatians 5:22)
Writer Zia Shah cited 200 references in the Quran. Included are:
Indeed, Allah enjoins justice, and the doing of good to others; and giving like kindred; and forbids indecency, and manifest evil, and wrongful transgression. He admonished you that you may take heed. (Al Quran 16:91)
And as for those who strive in Our path — We will surely guide them in Our ways. And Indeed, Allah is with those who are of service to others. (Al Quran 29:70)
The reward of goodness is nothing but goodness. (Al Quran 55:61)
Rabbi Maurice Lamm writes,
What is quite clearly the most consistent and all-embracing act of faith is called Chesed, which means kindness and implies the giving of oneself to helping another without regard to compensation.
He explains in “Day to Day Judaism: Kindness,” that kindness is a daily requirement. He also cites a passage from the Talmud clarifying the difference between charity and kindness.
“The Rabbis taught: In three ways is kindness greater than charity. Charity is done with money; kindness can be either with one’s person or one’s money. Charity is for the poor; kindness can be done for either the poor or the rich. Charity is for the living; kindness can be done for the living or the dead.” (Sukkah 49b)
12 Interesting Facts and Statistics About Kindness
In Sarah Tashjiian’s March 27, 2018 article “Does it pay to be kind?” in Psychology in Action, she identifies several kindness benefits all supported by scientific inquiry. Here are some of those benefits:
Prosocial behaviors increase happiness and self-esteem.
Being kind improves how others see and accept you.
Kindness leads to reductions in risks for disease.
Neural networks related to reward fire when we’re kind, and when we see others experience kindness.
No two people express or behave with kindness the same way or to the same degree. In Tashjiian’s article she also identified that:
People with less money show more generosity, charitability and helpfulness.
Children who are more social exhibit more prosocial behavior.
Kindness is positively related to better self-regulation and less emotional reactivity.
Researchers from KindLab at Kindness.org conducted a meta-analysis of 27 experimental studies. According to them, research supports that kindness has a significant effect on well-being.
KindLab also reported several other findings including:
Kindness ranked above physical attractiveness in a potential mate. They received responses from 10,047 people from 33 countries.
If a doctor expressed empathy and kindness, surveyed patients’ colds shortened by one day.
Kindness can lower the effects of stress.
Being kind to others boosts psychological flourishing.
Kindness is an effective way to reduce state-level social anxiety.
The Key Characteristics and Attributes of a Kind Person
Finding a scientifically validated list of what it takes to be a kind person doesn’t exist. What we can do is glean this information from a variety of pieces of research. Following is a brief list of traits that surfaced again and again.
Empathy.
Good listening skills.
Social.
Generous.
Charitable.
Helpful.
Courteous.
Engage in perspective-taking.
Caring/nurturing.
Kindness in Literature
According to Wikipedia:
· The Tirukkural, an ancient Indian work on ethics and morality, dedicates a separate chapter on kindness (Chapter 8, verses 71–80), furthering the value in other verses, such as hospitality (verses 81–90), uttering pleasant words (verses 91–100), compassion (verses 241–250), moral vgetarianism (verses 251–260), non-violence (verses 311–320), non- killing (verses 321–330), and benignity (verses 571–580), among others.
· Mark Twain from a compassionate point of view considered "Kindness [as a] language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
· It has been suggested that most of Shakespeare's opus could be considered a study of human kindness.
· Robert Louis Stevenson considered that “the essence of love is kindness; and indeed it may best be defined as passionate kindness: kindness, so to speak, run mad and become importunate and violent.”
Kindness in Media
Based on the novel of the same name written in 1999 by author Catherine Ryan Hyde, the motion picture “Pay It Forward,” which starred Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, Haley Joel Osment and Jon Bon Jovi, illustrates the power one person can have to make an impact on a chain reaction of kind deeds. The philosophy of “Pay It Forward” is that through acts of kindness among strangers, we all foster a more caring society. In the book and film, Reuben St. Clair, a social studies teacher in Atascadero, California, challenges his students to "change the world." One of his students, Trevor, takes the challenge to heart. He starts by showing kindness to a stranger which ripples further than he could have ever imagined.
In October 2011, Life Vest Inside posted a video called "Kindness Boomerang." It shows how one act of kindness passes seamlessly from one person to the next and boomerangs back to the person who set it into motion. Orly Wahba, Life Vest Inside founder and director of Kindness Boomerang, explains that each scene was based on real life experiences she personally went through; moments of kindness that left a lasting impression on her life. Within several months after its release, Kindness Boomerang went viral; reaching over 20 million people globally and eventually landing Wahba spot on the TED 2013 stage to speak about the power of kindness.
Singer-songwriter Harry Styles has been promoting kindness since at least 2017 with his slogan “Treat People with Kindness,” also abbreviated to “TPWK.”
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