Friday, March 18, 2022 - How to Recover From Grief by Setting Healthy Goals

I have been blessed thus far in my life and have not suffered keen personal losses other than the loss of pets. My parents and grandparents lived to be in their 80s or 90s, so had rich, full lives. Both of my sisters, their spouses and their children are still very much alive. When I got divorced after 16 years, I lost my self-respect for not making a relationship work but was grateful to be free of a miserable marriage. The loss of pets can be devastating because they are a part of your family. The day my dog died, I remember telling everyone I came in contact with — store clerks, mail carriers, acquaintances, etc. And yet, none of my experiences can compare with that of the guest blogger of this article, Camille Johnson. She lost both her parents and her spouse within one year, but fortunately had a friend who had also suffered a loss and recommended a bereavement counselor. Johnson is host of the website bereaver.com, and you can contact her at camille@bereaver.com. Let’s find out how to recover from grief by setting healthy goals.

Whether it is the loss of a parent, spouse, child, friend or beloved pet, everyone experiences grief. When you are going through the process, it may seem unending. Setting healthy goals can help you make progress towards recovery.

Improve Your Sleep

Studies have found that people experiencing grief commonly have difficulty sleeping. Grieving people are particularly likely to experience middle insomnia, which is a type of sleeplessness that involves waking in the middle of sleep and not being able to fall asleep again.

Most adults need seven to nine hours of sleep per day. If you are not getting enough sleep, it can be helpful to set a sleep goal. Steps you can take to reach your goal include establishing a set bedtime and wake-up time, along with keeping them the same, avoiding naps, avoiding caffeine late in the day, not using nicotine products and following a regular bedtime routine. You may also want to talk to a doctor. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is effective at helping some grieving people improve their quality of sleep.

Adjust Your Environment

Making adjustments to create a peaceful home environment can help with the grief process. Consider creating a space in your home for daily meditation. Reduce the clutter in your home and organize your possessions. Donate or give away things you no longer need. If reminders of your lost loved one are painful, consider asking a friend to help you sort through possessions and decide what to keep and what to donate. Consider putting the items you keep in storage until you are ready to bring them out again.

Eat a Healthy Diet

Grief affects different people's diets differently. Some want to indulge in comfort foods, while others find it difficult to eat at all. If you are struggling with a loss of appetite, set reminders to eat. Establish regular eating times and purchase pre-prepared food to make eating as easy as possible.

If you find yourself eating junk food, there's a scientific reason for that. Fatty foods are mood boosters. Try swapping less healthy foods for high-fat fish, nuts, avocados or nut butter.

Comfort eating is a normal part of the grieving process. However, if it is beginning to negatively affect your health and you are ready to tackle the issue, try identifying the situations that make you want to eat and avoid them. If you are eating because you are bored, lonely or sad, try occupying your mind with an activity that you enjoy. Don't eat while you watch television. Allow yourself to feel your emotions instead of burying them in food. Don't beat yourself up for overeating or eating unhealthy foods.

Adopt a Pet

Sometimes people who are grieving isolate themselves from the world. This can be a particular risk for people who work from home because you aren't forced to go into the office to interact with people. Make a point of getting out of your house every day. Stay in touch with your coworkers and only work during scheduled hours. Consider adopting a pet. Having an animal around may help you feel less lonely and can motivate you to meet people when you take your pet on walks or visit the dog park.

Grieving is a difficult process that you cannot force yourself through. However, you can take steps to ease your journey. Along with these tips, don't be afraid to reach out to friends, family or medical professionals if you need more help.